Lately, I've been feeling restless. I feel like I'm drifting.
It's not about work. I still love what I'm doing and it is not that stressful. If truth be told, the pressure of the past month was not as great as before.
It ain't about romance as well because I've already made peace with my decision months ago to not dwell on it for the rest of the year. After a couple of bumps, I have moved on and I've no plans of stopping.
Maybe it is because I haven't been home for the past 18 months. Though I am used to being away, this is the longest period that I haven't taken a home leave since I arrived in Hong Kong nine years ago and I think the longing is getting into me.
Some may say that HK is not like on the other side of the world. Still it is not easy to just pack a bag and go home for a while. Also, I'll definitely need more than a weekend to satisfy this craving to be with my family and just be in the Philippines.
Oh well, in a couple of months, I'll be taking that leave. I've lasted this long and I can take four months more. If this is indeed what is making me restless and feeling adrift, then I guess I will know soon.
But if it is not, that's another matter.
***
A friend of mine suggested that it may just be sex. This one can easily be tested.
Sex is not an answer for loneliness. (Or restlessness). Neither flirtation nor Money.
ReplyDeleteBut Love is. If you have a lot of love around you, you'll do good. You'll feel better.
Surely you need that vacation to the Philippines because i believe that there is so much Love waiting for you there.
get distracted
ReplyDeletei feel you... loneliness kills!
ReplyDeletetulog ka na lang haha...or punta ka japan haha
ReplyDeletei'd like to share a couple of poems that i think reflects your feelings of late. they won't provide the solutions to your restlessness, unfortunately. but it'd show you you're not alone...
ReplyDeletecast away
the night sky
is dark and wide
stars burn with their
endless fires while
the river encloses me
in its cool embrace:
lulling me to slumber,
devoid of any thoughts,
not caring for whatever
happens from here on.
paglusong
paglusong ko sa ilog,
ako’y magpapatangay
sa kanyang mga agos,
patungo sa kung saan
ang tubig ay may lamig
ng umaga at ang alon
ay yumayapos sa dibdib
na tila sabik na sanggol;
hindi ako manlalaban,
di tatangkaing lumangoy.
dazzol pow...
@lyka: sometimes, it's alright to be sad. so i guess i'm alreight. ;)
ReplyDelete@abou: puro na ako distractions. hehe
@luis: wag naman sana.
@sendzki: hahaha. ang mahal naman!
@zen: sa dami ng bakla sa HK pa lang, i'm sure i'm not alone. thanks for sharing the poem! ;)
wala akong maipapayo maliban na lang sa usual kong ginagawa kapag malungkot ako at wala sa 'tamang pag-iisip'.
ReplyDeleteKumain. =p
you just miss the warmth feeling of being around your family and its not about sex! its a part of yourself that you missed for 18 months...
ReplyDeletehmmmm... cold weather blues?
ReplyDeleteis it good restless or bad restless? kasi ako when i'm restless it's not an indication that something is wrong - but something is about to change...
ReplyDeletehmmmmm...
ReplyDeletehmmmmmm...
wala lang. wala akong masabi eh. nakakalungkot talaga ang december. dati, ang nagagalit ako pag december na. ngayon ay lungkot na.
at sabi ko wala akong masabi.
hugs
ReplyDelete"A friend of mine suggested that it may just be sex. This one can easily be tested."
ReplyDeleteWalang kwentang kaibigan ito.
pwede bang payakap? =)
ReplyDeletebro (or bru ^_^), uulitin ko ang reply ko sa comment mo sa blog kong "balik pinas"...
ReplyDelete"tara na... sakay na!"
malungkot mag-Pasko sa SG kaya ako umuwi ng pinas. there's no place like home and being with your family esp this season, really matters a lot. inevitable ang ganyang mood during these days. hehehe!
who needs a hug? :)