Something old, something new

My hard disk and Creative Zen are stacked with movies like The Kite Runner, Across the Universe, No Country for Old Men, The Great Debaters and old pinoy must-sees such as Tinimbang ka Ngunit Kulang and Batch 81. Yet, I haven’t seem to find the urge to really watch them.

Instead, for the past few days or weeks even, I was contended to re-watch films and TV series episodes that I’ve seen many times over. It’s one of my sometimes irritating eccentricities but that’s me.

Listening to the same dialogues I’ve heard before and even memorized, looking at the same scenes I’ve already seen, and knowing exactly what will happen next is kinda comforting.

Maybe that’s it. There’s something comforting about old stuff. It’s familiar, it’s easy and it’s already there. But yes, there are times when we really have to embrace the new.

This was what Shelter – a movie I accidentally watched – was all about for me.

The plot of the film was simple: Zach is a poor boy living with his sister and his nephew. He loves them so much and takes his responsibility to them seriously that he’s torn between staying with them and following his dream of becoming an artist. For a time, he has chosen the former.

Until Shaun came along and made the situation more complicated.

Shelter is said to be a gay film. Indeed, it has gay characters, it has a gay coming out subplot, it has a sweet and hot love scene and it does show half-naked bods (surfers!). But it goes beyond gay themes.

The word “shelter” gives an image of a safe haven. But it is bound to happen that we have to go out and face the unfamiliar, the uncomfortable and the difficult. For the familiar, comfortable and easy are not what life is really all about.

When Zach finally chose to pursue art school and at the same time embraced his homosexuality, it was liberating. And sweet.

The prospect is scary but the rewards may be great. The tricky part though is that it is not a breeze to do it. Always, it is not a case where we can just pack our bags, leave most things behind and start afresh.

The even trickier part is to embrace what’s new without totally letting the old one go. When we embark on the new, we also take what we can of the old for it is not always bad the same thing as the new is not always good.

I may like to watch the same films, see the same episodes, read the same books, and live the same life day in and day out. But there’s always something new that comes along that is pleasant, worthwhile and, yes, liberating when I grab it by the balls.

Oh yeah, the film’s soundtrack is also cool. It’s something new that I fully intend to look for, get and put together with the old stuff I have.