Thursday, April 3, 2008

The Burden of Guilt

It can be very heavy to the point of being made a stuff of horror films. At least in the case of Shutter.

I have never been a fan of horror flicks. But I let myself get persuaded by a friend to see this one. Of course, the most persuasive line was that the lead actor was an eye-candy.

Yes he was. However, it was not what struck me with the film. Neither was the dirty and matted-hair ghost of a dead woman floating beside a speeding car nor her almost decomposed body on the bed because her mother couldn’t just bear the thought of burying her. Still to be honest, I now refuse to look behind me while walking in dimly-lit halls.

But what struck me was the image of guilt carried on the shoulders of Tun played by Ananda Everingham. Disturbing for it is true.

Guilt is indeed a weighty burden to bear. As such, there are times that I do not want to pick it up.

Maybe due to pride, a high regard of one’s self (healthy on one respect, can also be destructive on another), self-preservation, or just plain denseness– I sometimes take guilt in strides.

But I do know that I cause harm.

Of course they are not deliberate acts like murder, plunder or cheating on elections. Only a pachyderm of the highest level will not feel guilty with these.

The more complicated ones are those I do inadvertently. But I guess, the most well-meaning among us can also offend others. Nobody can be Ms. Congeniality every second of every minute of his life. It can be something I said in jest, a joke that was way out of line, or something that I did. Or something I did not do.

Most of the time, I am not conscious about it and it takes a while for these to sink in. Sometimes I even try to lighten my guilt by placing the blame on the other party. Blame it on his oversensitivity. Blame it on his hangups. Blame it on his nature. Blame it on the weather. Whatever.

True, the blame cannot be equal. But who said that it should be? Inequality is part of the current societal setup and fault is of no exception.

But the point really is that I also have my own faults. They may be minor or secondary but they are there and nothing good can come out with getting all uppity and high-handed about them.

We need a healthy dose of guilt sometimes. A good exercise is to imagine the harm we’ve caused others, the hurt we inflicted on those around us, the anxiety we made others feel, and the pain that we somehow stirred on other people.

It can be very heavy indeed that we may find ourselves depressed and our backs bent to a 90-degree angle with the stuffs we are trying to carry. Then again, if handled well, it can be liberating and can usually make us a better person.

Now, if only I can imagine Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo doing the same ….

16 comments:

Gayzha said...

Nakakatakot naman ang movie na to, but i want to watch it na rin.

OO nga we Gloria should feel guilty of all what's happening today in the Philippines. Sana ay matubuan siya ng GUILT NUNAL sa forehead niya.

cant_u_read said...

hahahahaha!

everything comes down to ate glo!

Mugen said...

It's the concept of guilt that makes a person more responsible.

holdencaulfieldisms said...

when im on a guilt trip, i try to think of my better deeds. para ma-even out yung mga katarantaduhan na nag-cause ng guilt at yung mga personal sacrifices na dapat ika-guilty ng ibang tao.

you must really hate gloria. sad to say, she doesn't seem to have ANY guilt.

gibo said...

guilt. guilt. guilt.

alam ko ang feeling na ito. marami ako nyan.

kanina lang, kumain ako ng isang bar ng chocolate, 2355.7 calories yata yun.

counted ba ito?

KRIS JASPER said...

I'll look for this film. I love watching horror movies... the stories are usually the same, but i still love watching it. I made a post of this last October 2007.

Abou said...

kapag ako'y guilty, alam ko na kasunod... karma

Kiks Phulumulu said...

rye hit bull's eye. it all comes down to glo.

although i was wondering, what were you guilty about...

Jericho said...

@gayzha: watch it na! pag tinubuan sya ng guilt nunal, mawawalan na sya ng mukha
@rye: everything friend. everything. haha
@mugen: true. true. true.
@pat: halata ba? hehe
@gibo: counted yan. laluna na at hindi mo ako binigyan!
@kris: kaya ba may "ghost stories"? hehe
@abou: usually!
@kiks: basta .. pag-uwi mo na lang! haha

Anonymous said...

i love shutter!

gwapo nung guy dun sa orig thai movie ah

kamukha ni piolo hehehe!

-turismoboi

cant_u_read said...

uuyyyy... may secret ang mag-best friend! kami ni dan, wala. kasi pag may sinabi syang secret, bino-broadcast ko agad!

LOL!

alimuom.atbp said...

kakatakot nga daw ito, describe ni new officemate, especially that "guilt on your back" ek-ek. am looking for a copy na din nga, panoorin ko pag merong kajerjeran.

Anonymous said...

pag prayer meeting namin, especially during the "contrition" part, naluluha ako lagi. as in... sabi ng brothers, yun daw ang workings of the Holy Spirit. wehehehehe. if only they know... yun ang guilt.

FerBert said...

Yung orginal na version nito (Thai Version) eh isa sa mga paboritong horror flick. Gusto ko rin mapanood yung American version nito pero tingin ko magiging panget na naman to tulad ng kinalabasan ng ibang asian horror flick na ginawa sa hollywood..

wwww.kokeymonster.com

jericho said...

@rye: go! i-balandra ang secrets ni Dan! ;)
@droidz: kunin mo sa amin kapag wala kang nakita ... hehe
@anon: guilty spirit?..;)
@FB: I watched the Thai version. Sabi nila, pangeet nga raw yung isa

chase / chubz said...

i love horror movies. but i would want to watch it with somebody..so i can squeeze somebody in the scary scenes. heheeh

shutter is a very good movie.
i love that. best thai movie for me