Sunday, January 20, 2008

On Gay Relationships

Deciding on what to write about gay relationships is even harder than when I decided that I am gay.

When I think about the plethora of relationships gays have been into - casual, open, fuck buddy arrangement, queridas, sugar daddies, boy toys, live-ins, gay-on-gay, gay-on-straight, etc. - and even more inventive ones I've heard of, it gets to be even more confusing and tasking to pin down that SOB. If we are just into rainbows, why are we in relationships that seem to cover the whole color wheel and the seemingly endless combinations of colors?

Then I think of how society and its norms dictate relationships and it is either you conform or you defy.

Conformity means the whole gamut of a hetero relationship, minus the female side, that includes dating, the through thick and thin thingy, family and maybe divorce.

Defiance, on the other hand, takes one to different forks in the road that sometimes can even lead to cynical views on relationships and sometimes a destructive lifestyle.

In my view, because of how gays are generally treated and perceived, right or wrong, we usually take the latter path. Most societies can only let us conform too far anyway.

So we defy. We defy conventions. We defy norms. We sometimes even defy definitions or even descriptions. But I guess at the end of it, we must still ask, what do we ultimately defy and where do we want our defiance to lead us?

I have tried one or two strains of gay relationships. Still, I am all for a loving, mature, and lasting one. Something like conformity with defiance. Conform to what is good in principle and defy the truckload of bull that patriarchy, inequality, class oppression and homophobia brings.

I like the idea of dating. I love the prospect of marriage. I look forward to a family. I don't want, but recognize the reality of, divorce. If having these means changing society and its norms, then so be it.

(I've wracked my brain out for a clearer perception on the topic. This assignment is unbelievably hard! Pwede bang true-or-false na lang sa susunod?)

18 comments:

reyna elena said...

HAHAHA!!! LOVE IT!!! hehehe! Dapat nga ganun na lang o kaya multiple choice question na lang! hehehe

jericho said...

@reyna: kainis na topic no? sana lesbianism na lang.. haha. btw, trade secret muna kung ano nga ang nangyari re: sayang post... hehe

reyna elena said...

ano nga yon?! susko suspenders ever! byaningerzie ka noh? hahaha

jericho said...

@reyna: heinous crime yun pag naging byaning akez. hehe

MANDAYA MOORE: Ang bayot sa bukid said...

o sya, gusto mo ng true or false? eto:

Maganda ba si mandaya moore-orlis?

Sagot! Bilis!

gibo said...

"maganda" ang sagot! (sa tanong ni mandaya).

wagi ang post na ito aaron. i didn't know you believe in marriage....and i'm not yet ready :-)

charmed one said...

Thanks for visiting moi! Actually ako rin nahirapan sa assignment. Hindi na nga sana ako makiki join kasi siyempre very private naman ang bagay na ito, pero sumige na rin.

jase said...

Well expressed mo naman siya!

bananas said...

hmmmmm...nakakainis nga ang topic na ito.pero masaya. na depressing din. na nakakainis. na nakakagalit. na nakakaalsa. na mag-aalsa na tayong lahat!

jericho said...

@mandaya: sige na nga, essay question na lang ulit!
@gibo: thanks. i believe in many things especially a certain program. at matagal ko ng alam na hindi ka ready.. mwahaha...cheers!
@charmed: masaya pa rin mag-share devah? pa-share naman sa spaghetti... hehe
@jase: thanks. kasalanan pa rin nina kiks at mandaya ang lahat!
@bananas: tunay ka! itaas ang bandila wag lang ang flagpole!

Kiks Phulumulu said...

play safe ba? pero masarap sigurong magpakasal.

maganda to. kailangang isama sa ating ilalabas na collection ng mga isturya at ipamudmod o ibenta sa page one at national bookstore.

Ryan Hawaiian said...

very well written...

just stumbled upon your blog..

goddess said...

hirap mag-isip noh?!
kaya nagkwento na lang ako eh..

jericho said...

@ryan: thanks. stumble away.
@goddess: korek! kung nag-kwento kasi ako, it will just be a series of ONS and ex-almosts! hehe

wanderingcommuter said...

the diversity of human nature.... ang hirap nga naman talagang ikahon sa dalwang sagot lamang...hehehe

Bryan Anthony the First said...

big or small??

:-)

Rachel said...

Sharing my view on this.

pedogay said...

Average gays have it easy. Here in the Netherlands, we Dutch are discriminated for wanting to show our love to younger people. Hell, I have a friend who makes love to his family's goat and he says that "I" have it easy.

The only reason that the average gay is more accepted than us cuz the bigots consider it a lesser evil. Lesser evil, oh common. Aren't we all equal and alike.

Let's all fight the good fight!